Relationships have ups and downs, and being with someone long enough teaches us a lot about them. We know when the connection is strong and when something feels off. Finding out the cause of a drift between you and your mate can be difficult because it could spell the end of your relationship—whether your instincts about possible cheating are right or wrong.
First, we’ll look at the signs of relationship cheating, and then we’ll discuss non-invasive ways to confirm suspicions you have in order to help you to talk with your partner. If that doesn’t work, we’ll cover more direct methods you can use to find answers.
Looking For The Signs
One of the first tells you might notice that signals infidelity is general boredom or restlessness.
This could contribute to a lack of intimacy, which might be vanishing if it’s not already gone.
Is your partner also picking fights? Do they spend a lot of time on their phone? Do they continually find reasons not to come home on time, or to take separate cars to the same destination? All of these are flags that something isn’t right. However, none of these signals guarantee your boyfriend is cheating.
Social media offers some insight into the activities we engage in offline. Hacking a device you do not own is typically illegal, so be sure you stick to devices you two share when you’re doing these kinds of searches.
Each person’s browser history tracks activity online. If your partner didn’t use incognito browsing, there may be a history of visited websites. Here are some common dating and hookup sites to look for:
- OK Cupid
- Coffee Meets Bagel
If you both share a cellphone bill, your provider keeps lists of numbers and perhaps some text details. You can use a reverse phone lookup for texting, or simply reverse lookup email addresses you come across that are unfamiliar. Both the iPhone and Android have “find” functions, which let you track the location of a device you own or share with a partner. But a better way to confirm your partner isn’t cheating is to ask for Facetime or Skype before going to bed.
You can use Google Image search, or your partner’s email, to search for active Tinder profiles. Keep in mind that your partner may be concealing activities by utilizing an alternate email address, so be sure to search for any known aliases of your partner, such as old forum handles or instant messenger names.
The Ashley Madison database breach also revealed the email addresses of its users. Ashley Madison is a website for cheaters, but it’s possible an email address was planted on the site by a vengeful ex trying to sew distrust in future relationships. Proceed with caution if you find something.
The simplest way to find out if your partner is staying loyal to you is to ask them directly. This talk is tough to have, so be as delicate or direct as you feel is right for you. You might suggest a time where you felt stressed or down and ask if there is any support you can offer. You could also talk about it directly by noting the feelings of withdrawal you’ve experienced.