Living without a connection to your birth mother can leave a significant hole in your life, whether you were adopted or you have simply lost touch with the woman who brought you into this world. However, modern technology and a plethora of organizations have made it even easier to forge a connection with this important woman. Follow these steps to find your birth mother.
Contact the Adoption Agency
If you were adopted, the agency that handled this process is the best place to start searching for your biological mother. This search is often easier for people searching for biological mothers than for someone looking for their biological father, as the biological mother’s name and details always appear on the birth certificate.
Talk to your adoptive parents, if you can, to learn which adoption agency they used. If you’d prefer to keep your search secret from the parents who raised you, try contacting a variety of adoption agencies in the area where you grew up.
Write a letter to the agency or agencies you believe may have handled your case. This letter should state the details you know about your birth, such as your name, your birthdate, and the hospital where you were delivered. You should also include the full names of your adoptive parents, the first address where you lived with them, and your current address. Your first address is the one the adoption agency will have on file. They will need your present address for future correspondence.
In the body of your letter, write that you know you were adopted and would like to trace the whereabouts of your biological mother.
Some adoption agencies have social workers who work closely with adoptive children looking for their biological mothers. This person will put you on a tracing list and help prepare you mentally for the journey ahead. Other agencies have mutual consent adoption search registries. Be prepared to pay a small fee for your listing in some U.S. states.
Conduct an Online Search
The internet is a wonderful resource for people searching for their biological mothers. A simple search for “find birth mother” should present many ideas and resources you haven’t considered.
Online services like CheckThem.com make searching for records from state and federal organizations easy. Through this website, you can key information like birth certificates, known aliases, social media accounts, known relatives, and phone numbers. This information could help you contact your birth mother directly or give you more clues for your search.
Join any relevant forums and discussion groups you find, such as Adoption.com’s General Adoptee Support Forum. The members will be able to support you during your journey because you have shared similar experiences. They may also offer some tips for finding your mother that worked for them.
Social media platforms can also be helpful resources. You might be surprised to find your birth mother on Facebook or Twitter with a simple name search. If her name is common, use location data to filter out irrelevant results.
If your mother doesn’t appear to be listed, don’t be discouraged. Search for her last name and message people living close to her last known address. You might find one of her relatives who can lead you to her. Make posts telling your social network contacts you’re searching for your biological mother and ask them to spread the word. You’ll be surprised how far these posts can travel.
Join Online Registries
An online registry may be able to connect you directly with your birth mother. The International Soundex Reunion Registry is one of the largest reunion registries in the world, so make sure you add your name and details to its database. If your birth mother has already signed up, you’ll both be notified of the match. If your birth mother signs up later, you’ll find out when she does. Since the registry’s volunteers are constantly looking for matches, it’s important to keep your listed details up to date.
Create a Blog
Thanks to free blogging platforms like WordPress and Blogger, anyone can easily create a blog. Create one which clearly states your name and that you’re searching for your biological mother, along with her name. Using these key pieces of information prominently will help your blog appear in online searches should your birth mother look for you.
Use your blog to document your search for your biological mother. It’ll be a cathartic process that just might lead you to her.
Speak to People Connected To Your Birth Mother
Conversations with people connected to your birth mother can yield great results. If you were adopted, ask your adoptive parents if they were told anything about your biological mother. Even small and seemingly insignificant information can be vital in your search. Write down everything you learn, because you never know what details may become important when you have more pieces of the puzzle.
Speak to any of your biological mother’s relatives you can find. They may also have an idea of how you could get in touch. If they know only past addresses, visit those places and speak to locals. Perhaps someone in your biological mother’s former neighborhood knows where she is now.
Seek Help From Professionals
If your search for your biological mother still isn’t getting you anywhere, then you may want to seek professional help.
Search angels are volunteers passionate about helping people find their birth parents. You can search online for the details of these charitable souls. While they use online tools, just as you have, their experience and access to resources you may not have found can yield better results.
Most U.S. states also have professional agencies dedicated to helping people find lost loved ones, including biological mothers. While you’ll typically pay for their services, you’ll benefit from the assistance of a dedicated professional experienced in locating people.
Searching for your birth mother can be an emotional process, so make sure you have good supports around you. Your loved ones will give you the strength you need to forge ahead and hopefully find your birth mother.