Whether you’re at work, in your own neighborhood, or out on a date, you could come into contact with dangerous men at any time. That doesn’t mean you have to put yourself at risk of becoming a victim, though. If you know what to look for, you can take steps to protect yourself no matter where you are. Find out how to spot a dangerous man and which surprising traits and behaviors often serve as red flags.
Watch for Excessive Charm
When you’re looking out for someone who might cause you harm, you might find yourself automatically searching for someone who has an intense appearance or who acts in an intimidating way. What you should really be looking for, though, is some serious charm. Keep in mind that the most dangerous people have an uncanny ability to work a room from all angles. They have a knack for targeting certain people and figuring out exactly how to win each person over so they can take advantage in any way they choose.
However, these predators don’t always stay in character. In fact, if you watch closely, you’re likely to see him change his personality depending on who he’s interacting with. Worried that a potential date seems too charming? Try asking his friends, his co-workers, or even his siblings to describe what he’s like. If each description makes him sound like a completely different person, that could be a sign that he’s dangerous.
Look for Signs of Control
One of the most frightening signs of a dangerous man is his need to have control over every person, thing, and situation in his life. Not every predator exhibits this tendency in a physical form, though. For instance, to exercise his dominance over you, he may not physically intimidate you or even tell you what to do.
Instead, he may manipulate you in a more subtle way in order to get you to play right into his hands. For instance, he may refuse to take responsibility for his actions or decline to own up to his actions. If he ever does admit to a mistake or a major error in judgment, he’ll probably take his manipulation skills to the next level in order to maintain control over the situation.
Most predators also engage in serial lying in order to dominate a relationship. If he lies about every little thing or covers up major snafus with elaborate lies, he’ll quickly prove himself untrustworthy to a dangerous level.
Watch for Pressure to Move Quickly
Most predators have an ulterior motive, so they don’t have much time to waste while you decide how you want to proceed. If your new relationship seems too good to be true, take a step back and assess whether that’s really true.
Did he insist on your relationship becoming exclusive or intimate almost immediately? Has he tried to prevent you from seeing your friends and family? If he’s charming you into submission and pressuring you to move things forward at a speed that’s too fast for your comfort level, consider his behavior a red flag.
Identify Antisocial Behavior
Many experts recommend looking for signs of antisocial behavior as early as possible. For instance, many internet predators regularly blame others for their actions, even when they independently chose to victimize people and took complete control over their plans. Most predators also refuse to show remorse, even when they’ve single-handedly caused serious pain and suffering.
Others exhibit low self-control and tend to act impulsively, even when there’s a lot at stake. After all, when they can lie or manipulate their way out of a situation, they may not see a need to think their actions through in advance.
Check for Repeated Patterns
Whether you’re starting to forge a bond with a new friend or neighbor or you’re considering dating a new love interest seriously, you’ll want to take additional steps after seeing some initial red flags. Try digging into his past to find out if he’s had a habit of repeating the same types of behaviors over the years.
First, ask him about his prior relationships. He may not want to divulge all the details, but he should at least offer a basic timeline. If he’s been with one woman after another, with few breaks in between, you may want to dig deeper. Try gently asking his friends or family if he’s had a string of similar relationships and breakups over the years.
You can also try to learn more about his relationship patterns by perusing his social media profiles. Though you should never break his trust and check his profiles while he’s logged in, there’s nothing wrong with browsing his old photos and statuses while you’re logged in as yourself.
Research His Past
If you suspect that he isn’t completely honest with you, protect yourself by searching for public records that might tell a more complete story of his past. To do this, try using the People Search tool from CheckThem. With one quick search, you’ll find out everything that’s part of his public record.
You can check his address history to see if he’s moved frequently or his employment history to find out if he changes jobs every few months. You can even check civil judgments against him, along with bankruptcies and other financial difficulties that could affect you if you choose to move things forward. You can also browse his arrest history and his criminal record to find out if he has a violent past. With just a quick search, you can find out how dangerous he really is, as you can get details on sentencing, court cases, and more.
No matter what kind of suspicious activity he has in his past, you deserve to know how dangerous he is before it’s too late. From superficial charm and constant lies to antisocial behavior and poor impulse control, several traits can indicate that you’re dealing with a potentially risky person. Keep this guide handy to spot a dangerous man way before you get hurt.