Who Is Texting My Significant Other?

Couple in a modern common phase of mutual Disinterest

Infidelity is one of the more challenging issues that can occur in a relationship. When you are having trouble in your relationship, you will see signs that may be red flags that a partner’s attention is drifting. Often, when talking to your partner about your suspicions of cheating, it will either be denied or you will be made to feel bad for having these thoughts about your loved one. Until you present hard evidence or irrefutable proof, most people will deny the accusation that they are unfaithful. However, their behavior and your gut instinct may be telling you another story.

Don’t Jump to Conclusions

There are many behaviors that may indicate someone is cheating. However, all of them can also have completely innocent explanations. It is important not to jump to conclusions while you attempt to figure out the truth. What may be a red flag in one relationship may be nothing to be concerned about in another. The most important thing to keep in mind is what was previously normal for the two of you, versus what is happening now. Just because someone’s behavior changes, does not mean they are necessarily unfaithful, but it’s a good reason for the two of you to have a serious conversation about what is going on.

If you have been feeling suspicious of your partner, take a good look at your overall relationship. Has your partner expressed dissatisfaction with your life together that hasn’t been addressed? Have you? Typically, people step outside of relationships that are no longer as healthy or fulfilling as they once were. Partners whose needs are met are generally less prone to infidelity. See if you can identify any unresolved issues that may be coming up over and over again. If you two have a pattern of conflict, over time it can result in a loss of emotional connection.

Sad man sitting with laptop and waving a red flag

Red Flags

Some warning signs to consider:

  • If your significant other seems distracted all the time.
  • His or her routine has recently changed.
  • They spend hours on the computer.
  • They begin to be away from home or work more than usual.
  • They take their phone everywhere (even into the bathroom).
  • They guard their phone and computer or add passwords when they didn’t use them before.
  • Browser histories are always wiped clean.
  • If your partner isn’t as affectionate as before or is dramatically MORE affectionate.
  • You notice unusual spending.
  • Your communication patterns have changed.

If you notice any of these signs, then you may be wondering if someone else is in the picture.

Communication Is Key

The first thing you should always do in this situation is to try to have an honest discussion with your mate about what you are observing. Respecting your partner is key to a healthy relationship. Give them a chance to explain, before you jump to conclusions. There are many possible reasons besides infidelity that could be the cause of their actions. Stress, issues at work, grief, depression, or other problems could be to blame. Don’t immediately attack or accuse — your partner will only get defensive and push you away. This will deepen the divide that is growing between you.

A couple using cans and wire to demonstrate communication

Remember that you may be wrong about their behavior. If you have been impacted by infidelity before and are especially worried that it could happen to you again, you may be seeing things that aren’t there. Try to approach the situation calmly and with an assumption that your partner is faithful, but troubled, and you are looking for ways to deepen your connection. A thoughtful and loving approach is the best way to encourage honesty.

If your partner’s explanations or ongoing behaviors don’t satisfy your suspicion, and your gut still tells you there is more going on, it may be time to dig a little deeper to confirm what is happening.

What Now?

Phone privacy is a sticky issue between couples. Most people would rather not violate their mate’s privacy. Snooping through your mate’s belongings, computer, or cell phone is tempting, but it puts you in the position of being dishonest, which can backfire and ruin your relationship if they aren’t cheating. We can’t recommend that you go through your partner’s phone to see what they have been up to. Wrong numbers happen and don’t necessarily indicate infidelity. However, there are times when snooping is not required — such as when you get an itemized phone bill that shows a pattern of calls or texts from a single unfamiliar new number. Or perhaps a text pops up on their screen when it is nearby and you happen to see it.

Some people who are covering up an affair will change the contact’s name in their phone to something that seems legitimate. So you may want to double check a suspicious pattern of communication, especially if you see something incriminating that does not match the name that pops up.

Girlfriend asking for explanation of her boyfriend sitting on a couch in the living room looking at phone

Whatever the reason, if your efforts to communicate openly have failed, and you feel you have no choice but to investigate further, as a last-ditch effort you may wish to check out a number that has been texting or calling your mate’s phone.

Reverse phone number search websites are abundant; however, these databases often do not include cell phones. Landline results are also inconclusive in many cases. Unlike cell phones, landline phones are often used by multiple people, so you may never know who the caller is.

Fast, Accurate, Factual

CheckThem is a fast, easy solution for investigating suspicious activity from a cell phone number. Unlike reverse phone number searches, CheckThem provides results that include names, social media accounts, home addresses, and more. This quick and simple online service can get you the answers you are looking for and the proof that you need to resolve your situation. No one deserves to be cheated on. Risky behavior by your partner can put you at risk, too. And if you don’t find any evidence of infidelity, your fears can be laid aside and you can renew your commitment to creating a deeper bond in your relationship, knowing your partner is trustworthy. CheckThem can be the answer to one of your most painful questions. Who’s texting my partner? Find out with CheckThem.